She Didn't Come Back Down
by NephilimEQ
Summary: A twist on the Season 7 finale...SPOILERS AHEAD! Just a little twist on a line and how things could have gone for our beloved JJ and Hotch. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. Watch My Back, No One Will

**A.N. - So, I was re-watching the season finale of Criminal Minds, and my ears caught this beautiful line! I love the line simply because it opened up the floodgates for my JJ/Hotch story! A little idea that popped into my head, and I had to get it down. I hope that you enjoy it! :)**

* * *

_Rossi looked at the groom._

"_So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

"_Only if she doesn't come back down."_

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE - WATCH MY BACK, NO ONE WILL**

JJ was nervous as her mom slid up the zipper on the dress, which fit her perfectly.

"Oh, JJ," her mom breathed. "It fits you so well, sweetheart…you look beautiful!"

Her daughter responded with a shaky smile and turned to look at herself in the mirror on the side of the room. She looked like she was about to get married…but she didn't feel what she thought that she would feel at that moment.

There was nervousness, but it wasn't the kind that was supposed to be there.

It was the kind of nervousness that she experienced before a grueling trip to an unpleasant case.

Instead of fluttering butterflies in her stomach, she felt a churning in her gut, along with a slightly nauseous feeling. She swallowed, trying to control her instinct to bolt.

She instead ran her hands along her hips, smoothing the fabric, admiring the dress, pretending that she was wearing it for someone else.

Suddenly, her mother stepped up behind her and placed her warm hands on her daughter's shoulders, giving her a look in the mirror, a pleasant smile on her face that soon turned wistful as she looked at her daughter in the white dress.

"Oh, Jennifer…I can't believe you're getting married, already! It seems like only yesterday that you were my precious little girl who wanted nothing more than to be a famous soccer player…"

JJ let out a nervous laugh, and her mother chuckled as well, and then said,

"Well, then…I guess we just need someone to give you away…"

At that, JJ's blue eyes clouded over slightly, and her smile faded.

Her mother squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. "Don't worry, sweetheart…I know just the person to do it."

With that enigmatic statement, she left the room, leaving JJ alone to her thoughts, which was a dangerous thing to do, though her mother was unaware of it. As she stood there, she felt the churning in her gut turn cold and hard, and it soon felt as though she had a ball of lead in her stomach.

A thought then hit her with all the subtlety of a freight train derailing…

…What was she doing?

What the _hell_ was she doing?

Did she even truly love Will? He was the father of her child, and she loved that he was a good father, and she felt strong affection for him, but her heart wasn't it.

She had to be honest with herself at this point, because she had deluded herself for too long. She had managed to bury the truth of her affections for the man that shared her home and her bed, and she had let her fear for his life override her true feelings, and had clung to him out desperation.

Yes, she loved him…but she wasn't _in_ love with him.

There was a difference.

There was a _huge_ difference.

At this thought, she had the sudden urge to rip the dress off and hide in the closet, but before she could say anything, someone appeared in the doorway.

"JJ?"

She looked up in surprise at the voice. It was Hotch. What was Hotch doing here?

"Hotch, what are you…?" she began to ask, but her voice faded when she saw her mother standing behind him, a grin plastered on her face. Oh. So _this_ was who she wanted to give her daughter away.

"Oh. I see…" was all she could say.

Hotch simply stood there, his mouth slightly open in surprise, staring at her as though he'd never seen her before, and JJ suddenly felt nervous. Butterflies-in-the-stomach nervous.

She slowly twirled in a circle, letting him see the dress, and then stopped when she was facing him once more.

"So…you like it?" she asked, her tone hesitant, as though afraid of what he might say.

He simply nodded, a soft look in his eyes, his tone low as he answered.

"You look beautiful."

At this, JJ's mom quickly spoke up, completely unaware of the tension that was slowly building in the room. "I thought that your boss would be perfect person to give you away, as he's known you the longest out of everyone on your team, right?"

JJ nodded, unable to turn her gaze to her mother because her eyes, for some unknown reason, were glued to the eyes of the man in front of her, and she couldn't tear herself away from them.

With her nod, her mom nodded in return.

"Excellent. See you downstairs in a few!"

With that, she disappeared down the stairs, leaving the two of them alone in the room.

The silence stretch between them, until JJ finally spoke up. "So, you're going to give me away, huh?"

Hotch gave her a grim nod. "Yes, apparently. According to your mother I was the only logical choice. She said Rossi didn't know you long enough, Morgan was more like a brother to you, and, your mom's words not mine, _I'm_ apparently your _father_ figure."

They shared a look, and then she couldn't hold back any longer.

A snort of laughter broke through and she quickly covered her mouth, but she couldn't hold it in, and soon the both of them were laughing at the absurdity of it all.

A few tears escaped her eyes and she quickly wiped them off, looking at him with a grin.

"Father figure, huh? Shows you what my mother knows about profiling."

Hotch returned the grin, and she felt a faint warmth suffuse her chest at the sight. Gods, it was disarming. He was usually so…what was the word? Not stern, not serious…focused. Yes, that was it…wait, no. It was something else, something like…intense. Intense. Yes, that was the word that she was looking for. Intense.

This side of him however, was the complete opposite: relaxed. She felt herself soon at ease with his smile, welcoming it as she felt the warmth in her chest spread.

The large grin on his face faded to a soft smile, and he offered his arm to her.

"So…shall we?"

She began to reach for his arm, and then stopped.

Instead, she reached for his hand and twined her fingers with his, ignoring the look that he gave her, and then she slowly shook her head.

"Not yet…Aaron."

At hearing her say his first name, he knew that something was wrong, and that she needed to talk, so with his free hand he pulled the door to the room closed and led her to the small couch at the side of the room, and sat her down, his right hand still enclosed in her left.

After they sat down, he waited, knowing that she needed to be the first one to speak.

Finally, after a long moment of silence, she spoke.

"Aaron…I-I don't think I can do this."

He could feel her pulse racing in her wrist where it pressed against his own, and so he tried to reassure her.

"JJ, that's normal. All you're feeling are pre-wedding nerves. It's okay, you'll be fine."

He placed his free hand over top of hers, where it lay on his right hand, so now her left hand was gently cradled between both of his. However, he then felt and saw her tense up, and he knew that he had said something wrong.

"No, Aaron, that's not what I mean…" She paused, and he waited. She took a deep breath. "I don't think I can do this, because…because…"

Her voice faltered, and he gently pushed.

"Because why, JJ?"

She lifted her head and stared him straight in the eye as she spoke, firm conviction in her tone.

"Because I don't love him."

* * *

_Watch my back, no one will  
Water falls, fire kills_

* * *

**PART 1/?**


	2. All My Life, I've Been Waiting

_Rossi looked at the groom._

_"So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

_"Only if she doesn't come back down."_

* * *

**C****HAPTER TWO - ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN WAITING**

Hotch froze at hearing her words. He wasn't sure that he had heard her correctly, but as he started to open his mouth, she shot him a look, and he knew that he had.

"You don't love him."

She nodded and slowly pulled her hand from his warm grasp.

Several feelings were warring inside of her at the moment, and she didn't know what to think. It was strange to have finally said it out loud, but she knew that it had to be said. But now that it was, she was at a loss at what she was supposed to do next.

He slowly stood, leveling his gaze at her.

"Are you sure?"

JJ nodded again. "Yes, Aaron…I'm sure."

He nodded at that, slid his hands into his pockets, and then motioned his head towards her.

"In that case, the two of us need to talk." She nodded, staring intently at her hands, unable to meet her friend's gaze. What he said next, had her eyes snapping up to his. "Change your clothes, meet me out front at my car, alright?"

She mutely nodded, barely believing what she was hearing.

"You have your go-bag with you, I presume?"

At that, she sheepishly nodded, and said, "Yeah. I mean, you never know, right?"

He smiled.

"Don't worry…I've got mine in the car. Where's your bag?"

JJ motioned towards the door. "Downstairs, in the living room. Do you think you could grab it for me?" He nodded.

As silently as possible, and using all of his skills as a field agent, he slipped down the stairs and into the room, grabbing her bag from next to the couch, and made his way back up the stairs, barely believing what he was doing.

Rossi was going to kill him for doing this, as would JJ's mom and Will, but it had to be done.

He gave JJ her bag and waited for her to change, which took her all of three minutes.

She came out in a long-sleeved gray shirt and plain black jeans, and in the place of her heels was a pair of black FBI-issued field boots.

"Ready to go, sir."

He shook his head and gave her a smile. "It's Aaron, for now. C'mon, let's go."

She started towards the door…but then paused. He then watched as she gently took the dress that her mother had given her and carefully placed it on the bed, sliding a small piece of paper on top of it. He glanced at it, and quickly realized that it was a private note for her mother.

He tore his eyes away, and she gave him a faint smile as he did so.

"It's okay, Aaron. It's just…" She paused, and then continued. "I just need my mom to know why. That's all…"

He turned his eyes back to her and gave her a slightly sad smile.

"I know, JJ. I know."

And with that, the two of them crept down the stairs and out the front door, where no one lingered, as everyone was in the backyard, waiting for the two of them to arrive. JJ felt a pang of sadness at what she was doing to her friends and family, but she knew it was necessary.

It was necessary.

They got into his car without being detected, and he started it up and pulled away from the brightly lit mansion, which became a pinpoint of light behind them as they went down the long driveway.

As soon as they were on the main road, he pulled out his phone and JJ watched in surprise as he called Rossi.

"Hey, Dave…yes, I know…could you please stop yelling for a moment and let me explain?" There was a pause, and then Hotch continued. "JJ needs to talk some things out, and I think she needs some time to herself…yes, it might take a while," he said, glancing in her direction, and she nodded.

A longer pause this time.

"Dave, I need you to tell them that we're okay, and, _no_, we did not elope…" He gave JJ another look, rolling his eyes, and she let a small laugh escape her.

A little bit longer this time.

"Yes, Dave…thank you. You're a lifesaver. Tell Jack and Henry that JJ and I had to go somewhere very important and that we'll be back soon…thanks. And, oh, by the way, keep Garcia and Kevin away from any computers for the next twenty-four hours, alright? Thanks. Bye."

With that, he hung up and put the phone back into his jacket pocket, focusing his eyes ever tighter on the road, while JJ suppressed a grin at his last statement.

Oh, how well he knew his team.

The blonde agent sat next to him in silence for several long minutes, but then finally said…

"Thank you, Aaron."

His eyes flicked over to her, and the same soft smile that she'd seen before when he'd seen her in her dress reappeared.

"You're welcome…"

And they drove into the night.

* * *

_And all my life, all my life  
I've been waiting to find my place_

* * *

**PART 2/?**


	3. Sink or Swim, Take Me In

_Rossi looked at the groom._

"_So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

"_Only if she doesn't come back down."_

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE - SINK OR SWIM, TAKE ME IN**

They drove for about three hours, until Hotch pulled off to the side of the road, turning into a small motel.

The light that said "Vacancy" flickered, and JJ couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive about the place. It was a little after eleven o'clock at night, and the motel, called the _Heron Blue_, though seemingly normal, didn't seem all that safe to her, but she followed Hotch to the front desk.

"One room, please, one night only."

At that, he looked over at her, making sure she was okay with his assumption. "Unless you want your own room? I just thought that you needed to talk, so it would be easier if we just stayed in one."

JJ shook her head.

"One room is fine, Aaron. You'll take the chair."

He let out a small laugh and quickly paid for the room and then the two of them walked back outside, key in hand.

After walking into the small motel room and tossing their bags on the floor, JJ was surprised to see that the place was clean and well-maintained.

To pardon the pun, the walls were heron blue, and the chairs were a soft shade of sand. Pale wooden nightstands were on either side of the bed, along with a matching dresser across the room, on which rested a flat screen television.

It seemed they put all their money into keeping their patrons happy.

Sighing, JJ slid onto the bed, enjoying the feel of the comforter beneath her fingers, keeping her gaze from Hotch.

She listened as he put a few things away in one of the drawers.

She continued to keep her eyes averted as he unpacked the few things that he had in his bag, and simply listened to the sounds of what he was doing. Every now and again, the sound of a zipper or a snap, and she found herself smiling.

It was too easy to pretend that they were on a getaway, and at that thought, she quickly shut down any more thoughts of that nature.

They were there to talk about why she couldn't marry Will, not for her to entertain wrong thoughts.

After a few minutes, she felt a depression on the bed as Hotch sat down next to her.

"So…how do you want to start?"

JJ shrugged, unsure of what to say, everything suddenly seeming ridiculous. She had run away from her own wedding! With her boss, no less, who had been there with a date…oh god, Beth. She had completely forgotten that she'd torn him from his evening with his girlfriend.

Her eyes snapped up to his, her tone worried. "Hotch, what about Beth?"

At that, his eyes comically widened, and he quickly stood and grabbed his phone from where he'd placed it on the dresser.

She watched with a slight grin on her face as he waited for Beth to pick up, and then listened to his side of the conversation.

"Beth, hey, it's me…yes, I know I should have called you first…no, no, no, nothing like that. Look, JJ just is having an emotional crisis of sorts, and I felt that she needed a friend to talk to and…wait, what?" He paused, and JJ watched his expression turn to one of frustration. "No, Beth. Her mom is about the _last_ person she needs to talk to right now…well, you know how smooth Rossi is? Mrs. Jareau is better than that, which is why JJ needs to talk to a friend, not someone who'll try and change her mind…because I've known her the longest…"

At this point, JJ felt as though she was listening in on what was supposed to be a private conversation.

"…We needed to leave for a very good reason. JJ would have been under pressure from the expectations coming from several people, as well as feeling obligated, and she deserves to have a chance to figure everything out without all of that hanging over her head…"

At hearing this, her heart paused for a moment, and then resumed beating.

Is that what he was doing for her?

After thinking about it for a moment, she realized that it was the sweetest thing that anyone had ever done for her.

A faint smile crossed her lips and she stared at his profile as he finished his call.

"…No, this has nothing to do with…Beth, please, now is not the time to have this conversation…"

At this, she was confused by his words, and realized that she now had no context for what the two of them were talking about, so she attempted to ignore what she heard, but being as she couldn't escape the room, her ears still caught every word.

"…Yes, I understand the situation…" A long pause, and when Hotch spoke again, it was with a tone of defeat. "…No, you're not wrong, but that doesn't mean…alright. Give my love to Jack…bye."

With that, he flipped the phone closed and caught JJ's eye.

"Sorry about that. I can't believe I forgot about her, but at least it's taken care of."

She gave him a look.

"Is it? It didn't sound like-" He cut her off, his tone almost harsh. "JJ, we're here to talk about you."

She looked down towards the floor, not meeting his eye, and he immediately regretted his tone, so he slowly sat back down next to her on the bed, placing his right hand on top of her left, briefly noting that she had taken off her temporary engagement ring.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice low and reassuring. "I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. Those are my issues, not yours."

JJ stared at where his hand lay over hers, and simply said, "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

She then lifted her eyes back to his and smiled.

He gave her a faint smile in return and then slowly pulled his hand away and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, turning his head so that he could still look at her.

"So…what makes you think you don't love Will?"

She drew in a sharp breath at his blunt question, but realized that he was most likely not going to pull any punches in his interrogation, so she quickly told him what had occurred to her when she had been alone in the room wearing the wedding dress.

"As soon as I had put on the dress, I started to feel nervous…but not the good kind of nervous. More of the what-the-hell-am-I-doing kind of nervous..." She paused, and then continued. "And that was when I realized that I had never had that feeling of absolute _rightness_ with him, you know?"

She looked at him, and he gave a faint nod, so she continued.

"I mean, I loved him in some way, but I wasn't _in_ love with him, like having the feeling that if something happened to him I would want to die, too…and after he nearly died, I realized that I reacted out of a maternal instinct, thinking that Henry needed to have his father. Not _once_ did I think: I need to have him in _my_ life. Only that Henry needed him in his."

After saying this, she saw Hotch nodding his head, and she gave him a faint smile.

"Why are you nodding?"

He looked at her and an uncomfortable smile crossed his lips.

"Let's just say that I know the feeling."

At hearing this, her thoughts flashed to the part of the conversation that she'd heard him having with Beth, and she quickly put the pieces together.

"Oh…"

He just faintly nodded once more and then slowly stood, walking over to the nightstand and flipping open the phone book. He stopped on a page and then pulled out his cell and quickly dialed a number.

"Yes, I'd like two large pizzas please; one with everything, the other just cheese." As he said this, he looked over to JJ for confirmation and she gave him a smile and nodded. He remembered what she liked. Of course, that was to be expected after spending years traveling together.

He then sat back down, but this time in the chair just opposite the side of the bed.

She watched in amusement as he stretched out his legs and then leaned back his head and closed his eyes.

JJ started to lay down on the bed, but he stopped her by saying,

"Nuh uh. One of us has to stay awake for the pizza, and since I paid for the room, you're getting this one…"

She looked at him in surprised, but threw her legs back over the edge of the bed and walked over to the dresser, where he'd left his wallet as well. She started to reach for it, making sure his eyes were still closed, but he then said, "You touch my wallet and I _will_ shoot you."

She heard the joking in his tone and let out a small laugh.

"Just when I think I know you, Hotch…"

He smiled, his eyes still closed.

"I thought we'd already covered this, JJ; it's Aaron."

She couldn't stop smiling.

"Alright, then…Aaron."

As she instead reached into her own bag and pulled out her wallet, she couldn't help but notice how easily the two of them interacted. Yes, they'd always been closer than anyone else on the team, but this was different.

This simply felt…right.

* * *

_Sink or swim, take me in  
hold my hand, running through the sand_

* * *

__**PART 3/?**


	4. All This Time

_Rossi looked at the groom._

_"So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

_"Only if she doesn't come back down."_

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR - ALL THIS TIME**

Rossi waited with Will, watching the young man with some amusement, as he was pacing back and forth, his nerves showing through.

He had been married three times; he knew what Will was feeling. However, after a few minutes, Dave began to feel restless. A thought pulled at the back of his mind…something wasn't quite right. JJ and Hotch should have been down by this point.

He shared a look with Morgan, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head towards the house.

Derek got the message, and slipped inside and headed up the stairs.

Less than a minute later he came back down the stairs, a serious look on his face, and he quickly pulled Rossi to the side.

"They're gone, Dave," he said, taking a deep breath. "I checked the front. Hotch's car is gone and JJ's bag is missing."

Rossi looked at the young profiler in shock, not quite believing what he was hearing. He gave Derek a look, but then he saw a piece of paper in the man's hand and he quickly latched onto what he saw and spoke up.

"What's that?"

Derek lifted an eyebrow. "A note from JJ addressed to her mother…I think she needs to see this."

And with that, he walked across the lawn over to Mrs. Jareau and quietly separated her from everyone else. Rossi watched as Morgan handed her the note and quickly explained to her what had happened.

A look of shock appeared on the woman's face and Dave cringed slightly at seeing this.

It was going to be hard for Mrs. Jareau to accept the fact that her daughter had stepped out on her very own wedding and disappeared with their team leader.

Just as Rossi thought about approaching her, his phone buzzed in his jacket pocket. He checked the caller I.D.; it was Hotch.

He quickly picked up.

"_Hey, Dave…"_

Anger and worry were evident in his hushed whisper, as he tried to keep his voice down so that no one else knew what was going on.

"Aaron, you have some serious explaining to do!"

"_I know…"_

"What the hell do you think you're doing, kidnapping the bride before her wedding? Not only is Will going to kill you, but Mrs. Jareau is going to as well! You can't just do something like this on a whim; you need to-"

"_Could you please stop yelling for a moment and let me explain?"_

At this, Rossi relented, and let his protégé speak. _"JJ needs to talk some things out, and I think she needs some time to herself…"_

He took a moment, and then slowly realized what Hotch was saying. JJ had second thoughts about marrying Will and Hotch was the only person she could talk to. "You guys are probably going to be gone awhile, huh?"

"_Yes, it might take a while."_

At this, he nodded to himself, and then noticed that Emily, Reid, and Garcia were all looking at him with identical looks of worry etched into their faces.

Yes, they would need to be told about what was going on, but _after_ he finished talking to Aaron.

Aaron spoke up again. _"Dave, I need you to tell them that we're okay, and, _no_, we did not elope…"_ At hearing this, Rossi chuckled slightly, but at the same time he was dimly aware of the fact that there was something else in Aaron's tone; defensiveness. Almost as though he was trying to convince himself of something as much as he was trying to convince Dave.

"Alright," he said, his tone resigned. "I'll tell them, but don't expect them to be happy about it. This was supposed to be a happy day, and they won't be happy with this."

"_Yes, Dave…"_

"But I'll try to explain the situation as best I can."

"_Thank you_," Aaron responded. _"You're a lifesaver. Tell Jack and Henry that JJ and I had to go somewhere very important and that we'll be back soon."_

"You got it."

He sounded relieved as he replied with, _"Thanks. And, oh, by the way, keep Garcia and Kevin away from any computers for the next twenty-four hours, alright? Thanks, bye."_

Rossi chuckled again as he hung up, a grin crossing his lips as he realized that that particular job would most likely require the rest of the team to handle, and not just one man by himself. It would be interesting to see if they could do it.

By this point, Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, and Garcia had surrounded him. Dave calmly slipped his phone back into his front jacket pocket, and gave them all a look as he explained.

"JJ had a small emotional crisis, so Aaron decided that she needed to sort it out on her own, away from any pressure."

He gave them all a look, an eyebrow raised, and Emily was the first one to catch onto his meaning.

"She doesn't want to marry Will," she said, causing the rest of the team, the exception of Rossi and Morgan, to look at her in shock and surprise. Garcia was the first one to speak up in protest to Emily's words.

"That's ridiculous! The two of them are, like, made for each other! Why wouldn't she want to marry him?"

Reid, at hearing this, remained silent, and Rossi could see that he was silently going through all of the facts in his mind, slowly trying to assess what had truly just happened in the space of the last ten minutes or so.

Then he spoke, so quietly that they almost had to strain to hear him.

"She loves him…but she's not _in_ love with him. That's the only reason why she would do this, Garcia."

The tech analyst looked at the young genius in surprise, and then Reid continued.

"I _know_ her, Garcia. I know how she thinks, how she feels things, how she deals with her emotions." He paused for a moment, and then continued. "JJ would only do something like this if she _knew_ that it wasn't what she truly wanted."

At this, Rossi smiled. Reid was right.

But then his thoughts drifted to Aaron. He had known him for a long time…and he knew that he and JJ had a unique relationship.

When he'd been married to Haley, it had been one of simple friendship and respect. When Aaron divorced Haley, he and JJ had grown closer and there'd been a few looks, smiles, and touches that Rossi had noticed.

But then JJ had met Will and things had changed once more, and almost felt strained at times between the two.

Rossi knew that Aaron wasn't in love with Beth, and he was slightly worried about him staying with JJ alone for so long.

But then a secretive smiled stole across his lips…

…maybe it was for the best.

* * *

_All this time, all this time  
Finally found my place_

* * *

**PART 4/?**


	5. All This Time, Again

_Rossi looked at the groom._

_"So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

_"Only if she doesn't come back down."_

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE - ALL THIS TIME, AGAIN**

Rossi had already explained to Henry that his mommy was going to be away for a while and that she'd be back soon and the boy seemed to understand. However, Dave had decided to let Beth tell Jack about Aaron, as it seemed more logical.

Beth, unlike the rest of the group, was beside herself with worry. Even though Jack had taken it well, she wasn't taking it as easily.

It wasn't like Aaron to do something like this and not call her…or had he forgotten about her?

She wasn't going to deny the fact that he had a unique relationship with Jennifer Jareau.

She knew that even though the blonde female agent was no longer the team's media liaison, Aaron still hadn't taken her off his number-one speed dial. And that was only one thing that that had captured her attention…there were several other things as well.

Such as the fact that the two times that she had slept over at his house, he had called the agent's name in his sleep and woken up in a cold sweat.

He had reassured her, telling her that he had nightmares about losing members of his team all the time. That it was the price of becoming a leader, he'd told her. You worry.

Beth had accepted his explanation, but in the back of her mind she'd always wondered.

Was that truly the case?

The few times that the two of them had really talked, it had nearly always been about his team. Always. And she could see the look that came into his eyes when he talked about them; it was one of love and admiration.

Though she wasn't a profiler, it was obvious to her that the team was his true family and that they always took care of each other.

Heck, Aaron had even made plans to have JJ take care of Jack if anything happened to him, and she knew that Rossi and Emily were the godfather and godmother of the little boy as well.

To put it simply, they were his family.

And, to put her own feelings just as simply, she was jealous. She hated to admit it, but she knew that it was true. She would give anything to see him talk about her in such a way, to see that particular fondness enter his eyes as he said her name…but she knew that it would most likely never happen, so she didn't hold out hope.

He was in a precarious place, and she was aware of the fact that his heart wasn't in their relationship as much as hers was.

Beth felt that she was in love with him already, but she could tell from the way his smile never quite reached his eyes with her that he did not feel the same.

She had confronted him only once about him possibly having feelings for the young blonde profiler, but that one confrontation had been enough.

Even though he hadn't said a thing about his feelings towards her, she had the faint feeling that he had most likely felt something towards her at point, but had dismissed it, considering he had most likely been married at the time.

He'd never had to say a word; she could see it in his eyes.

She watched as Jack and Henry played with Spencer and a faint smile crossed her lips.

She was on the outside looking in…and, as she gave it some serious thought, she realized that that was probably where she was going to stay for a long while. Actually, considering everything that had happened, that was simply where she belonged…

…but that didn't stop her from wanting to change it.

She decided to stay a bit longer, and before she even realized it, she had stayed a little over three hours.

Even without a wedding, David Rossi seemed to know how to throw a party.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed in her purse, so she quickly pulled it out and then saw the caller I.D.-it was Aaron.

"_Beth, hey, it's me…"_

She couldn't believe he was just calling her after three hours of being gone, so she voiced her feelings.

"You're just calling me now, Aaron? I know you called David a few hours ago, and I thought I might be on your priority list."

She could hear the apology in his tone as he said, _"Yes, I know I should have called you first."_

Beth couldn't help the next words from flying out of her mouth and immediately regretted them the instant they left her lips.

"So, why'd you steal the bride from her wedding? Can't bear to see one of your precious team members happy without you?"

"_No, no, no, nothing like that. Look, JJ is having an emotional crisis of sorts, and I felt that she needed a friend to talk to and…"_

She cut him off. "And someone to go to for comfort?"

"_Wait, what?"_ Beth could hear the genuine confusion in his tone, and she rolled her eyes, not quite believing that he was that dense.

"Oh you know what I mean, Aaron. Her mom can do exactly what you're doing, and yet you think that she needs to be pulled away from her in a time like this? She needs her mother."

When he spoke this time, she could hear frustration leaking into his tone, but she honestly couldn't understand why. _"No, Beth. Her mom is about the _last _person that she needs to talk to right now…"_

"Oh, really, why is that?"

"_Well, you know how smooth Rossi it? Mrs. Jareau is better than that, which is why JJ needs to talk to a friend, not someone who'll try and change her mind…_"

"Well, why does it have to be you?" she said, unable to keep the childish tone out of her voice. Could she help it that she was a bit selfish when it came to sharing Aaron Hotchner?

He simply said, _"Because I've known her the longest."_

At that, she found her argument lost, and she found herself floundering for something to say; anything to fill the awkward silence that was between them. She needed to say something…_any_thing. And finally, she said,

"So why did you have to leave? Why couldn't you have simply stayed and just talked upstairs or something?"

"_We needed to leave for a very good reason. JJ would have been under pressure from the expectation coming from several people, as well as feeling obligated, and she deserves to have a chance to figure everything out without all of that hanging over her head."_

Beth sighed at hearing this, and their one conversation that they'd had about JJ resurfaced in her mind, and then she asked what she'd never dared to ask before.

"Do you still have feelings for her, Aaron?"

He floundered as he said, _"No, this has nothing to do with-"_

She cut him off.

"Yes it does, Aaron. This has everything to do with your feelings for her. Are you being Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, the concerned and caring boss? Are you being Hotch, the devoted friend and shoulder for her to cry on?" She paused, and then finished with, "Or are you being Aaron, the man who thinks he could easily fall in love with Jennifer Jareau and take Will's place?"

His tone was harsh as he responded.

"_Beth, please, now is not the time to have this conversation-"_

She cut him off again, agitated.

"Then when _is_ the time, Aaron? Tomorrow? A month from now? A _year_ from now? This conversation was going to happen sooner or later, and considering what is going on right now, I would say that it's better that it happens sooner than later." She paused and then continued. "I care for you, Aaron, but I know your heart is somewhere else…_with_ someone else. And the fact is that you're with her right now, all alone, and I know…"

She paused, hating herself for telling him this, knowing that she was sabotaging all of her chances of being with him, but she forced herself to say it.

"…I know that she has feelings for you, too."

There was a long pause of silence, and it was the worst thing that she'd ever heard.

She never thought that she would tell him about it, but she knew that her chance was gone, and that it seemed that fate was leading him to where he needed to be. To who he needed to be with. But she still hated it.

As she had thought to herself before, no, she was not a profiler, but she was not blind…even though other people on their team were.

Whenever she was around his team, she could see the looks that were cast in his direction by a certain blonde profiler.

To anyone else, it was just a look like any other, but to the woman that saw with fiercely protective eyes, she caught the glimmer that lingered under the surface.

That glimmer that said, _"Please see me."_

It was a look of want, and she recognized it as she had seen it in herself so many times. Finally, the silence was broken as he said, _"Yes, I understand the situation."_

At that, she sighed in exasperation.

"Please, Aaron, don't try to revert back to Agent Hotchner and just admit that you love her and that this opportunity is a golden one for you to tell her how you feel about her! Am I wrong?"

His tone was hesitant. _"No, you're not wrong, but that doesn't mean-"_

She cut him off before he could finish his thought. "Yes, it does, you idiot! Just…take the chance, okay? I understand, and I don't hold any hard feelings against you…" She paused. "…In fact, I think I've been waiting for this for a while, now. So…go and take a chance."

A pause.

"_Alright. Give my love to Jack."_

"Of course."

"_Bye."_

And with that, he hung up. Beth pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it for a long moment, still not quite believing what she had just done.

She had just given up a man that she knew that she was in love with to another woman…but because she knew that he loved her and that she loved him, it was an entirely unique situation. And it was right. It was right.

A small smile crossed the corner of her lips as she snapped the phone closed and walked back over towards the group.

Aaron deserved _real_ happiness…not just window-dressing happiness.

And, hopefully, he didn't mess it up.

* * *

_All this time, all this time  
Finally found my place_

* * *

**PART 5/?**


	6. Finally

_Rossi looked at the groom._

_"So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

_"Only if she doesn't come back down."_

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX - FINALLY…**

They hadn't talked much, and simply ate the pizzas in silence when they arrived.

He had snagged the extra blanket from the end of the bed and had wrapped it around himself as he settled into the chair. JJ sighed as she saw this, but knew that it was useless to argue with her selfless leader. He would stay there all night, and insist that she take the bed.

Deciding not to pass up the chance to actually sleep alone for once, she grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom to change into her pajamas.

As she changed and got ready for bed, her thoughts were going a mile a minute.

The two of them had sort of talked about why she hadn't married Will; she didn't love him. But it still didn't answer all of the questions that seemed to linger in the air between them.

It was a strange feeling.

She walked back into the room and smiled at the sight before her. Hotch was in the chair, his long legs in front of him, the blanket barely covering them. He was most likely going to be feeling it in the morning, but he was utterly adorable.

A quiet snore escaped him, and she withheld a girlish giggle at the sound.

Again, she wondered at the strange feeling of complete…well, non-awkwardness was the only way to describe what she felt. JJ wondered for a moment at the feeling, still trying to figure out why it would be that way with him. Even with Will there had always been a feeling of, of…of tension. Of, what she had believed to be, nervous anticipation, but now she was able to see that the feelings that she'd had had been of apprehension.

Uneasiness and discomfort.

It truly bothered her that she hadn't recognized it, and that no one else on her team had either.

Was she simply that good at lying to herself? And if she _was_ that good, the question remained...why had she deluded herself for so long?

JJ sat down on the edge of the bed, absently running her fingers over the sand-colored bedspread. It was interesting to realize that she was now here, with Hotch, to face the fact that she'd been lying to herself for the past few years. Had it really been years?

Even though she was dressed for bed, she found that she was still wired, unable to sleep.

Feeling her nerves practically skipping under her skin, she stood up and began to pace, every now and again casting her eyes towards Hotch's prone body in the chair.

How he was able to sleep was beyond her…and she envied him for it.

Realizing that pacing wasn't going to help her, she lay down on the bed anyway, not bothering to pull the covers over her.

* * *

She didn't know how much time had passed since she'd first lain down, but she was surprised to find herself waking up with a sudden start. For a moment, she was completely disoriented, unsure of where she was, but she quickly remembered.

Slowly sitting up, JJ looked back over at Hotch and saw that he hadn't moved once.

Acting on some unknown instinct, she carefully stood and walked over to the chair, her hand reaching out to brush an errant lock of hair from his forehead.

She suddenly became conscious of what she was doing the instant she felt his warm skin beneath her fingertips.

What on earth was she doing?

She quickly began to withdraw her hand, but his hand suddenly shot up and now gripped her wrist in a fierce hold. She stared at his open eyes in shock. It was obvious that her touch had woken him up…but now they were both frozen.

The moment lasted for a second, and then his fingers lessened their hold, but still did not let her go.

Instead, he slowly sat up and gave her an inscrutable look.

"JJ? Are you okay?"

She tried to speak, but found her tongue tied, so she simply nodded, continuing to bite her lip. Hotch noticed this, and suddenly found his thoughts wandering in a not so wholesome direction…he was always a bit disoriented when he first woke up and having her there was making it even harder to keep his wayward thoughts in check.

His fingers were now caressing her wrist and he was surprised at the fact that she hadn't pulled away from him.

Making a silent decision, he slowly stood, not breaking contact with her, letting the blanket slide to the floor, barely noticing that it had, so focused he was on her.

Carefully, he lifted his right hand, gently tracing her jaw with the tips of his fingers.

"JJ," he said again, this time his tone filled with something else entirely, something that caused a strange sensation in the bottom of her stomach.

She lifted her eyes to his and felt her breath literally taken away by the look that she saw in his eyes. What was going on? How was he doing this to her? She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves, but something inside of her was threatening to break free.

Slowly…_ever_ so slowly…he leaned in.

In the next moment, they were kissing, and all rational thought left both of their minds at the same instant.

Aaron was shocked that he was actually doing this, but savoring every second, while JJ's mind reeled at what was happening between the two of them.

She could taste the slight hint of mint from when he had brushed his teeth, as well as something more basic, more primal. Something that was purely him. She shuddered slightly as his tongue delved just a little deeper between her lips, and again her breath was stolen from her.

Slowly, the kiss wound down and they both gently pulled back, out of breath.

The blonde profiler stood in silence, not wanting to break the moment, while her brain went running away at a million miles a minute…

_Why did he kiss me? What about Beth? Is this his way of trying to comfort me?_ And of course, the most pressing question in her mind: _Why did that feel so right?_

It was all clear in her head, but not in her heart. She simply couldn't reconcile the fact that one kiss from him was more intimate to her than making love with Will. How was it that he affected her so much with so little? What did it mean?

Little did she know, Hotch was in much the same predicament, trying to figure out how she had affected him more than any other woman that he'd ever known.

More than Beth, more than his wife…it was simply confusing.

The continued to stand there in silence, his left hand still holding her wrist, his right slipping down to her other hand.

JJ slowly opened her left hand and smiled as she watched his fingers trace along her palm and then slowly rotate her hand so that their fingers could intertwine. She stared at their clasped hands and felt something warm fill her chest.

Finally, feeling daring, she spoke.

"So…no regrets?"

She felt him nod against her hair.

"No regrets…"

They stood there for a long time after, simply enjoying each other's presence.

Things were looking good.

* * *

_Finally, found my place…_

* * *

**Part 6/?**


	7. This Is Crazy

"_So, you nervous?"_

_Will gave him a shaky smile, and gave him a shrug._

"_Only if she doesn't come back down."_

**CHAPTER SEVEN - THIS IS CRAZY**

_Several hours earlier…_

Mrs. Jareau paced near the hydrangea bushes on Agent Rossi's property, waiting for her daughter to come back down. What was taking the two of them so long?

Feeling herself start to panic, she stopped her pacing and took several deep breaths, realizing that pacing and worrying would _not_ make things go any faster. She needed to simply be patient and wait for them to come down…so her daughter could be married.

It was a strange feeling…Jennifer was about to be married!

She liked Will. He was a sweet boy and a nice match for Jennifer, as well as a good father.

Speaking of…

She glanced over to where he stood and gave him a quick once over. He was nervous. He was pacing like a caged tiger…well, he was more like basset hound puppy. Mrs. Jareau was slightly surprised that her daughter had taken up with a southern gentleman cop. His charm was nice, as well as his accent, and he was well-mannered, but…

Quickly she stopped that train of thought.

He was a good man, and he loved her daughter and her grandson, and that was what mattered most.

However, at that thought, she realized that she'd neglected to keep her daughter's feelings in mind…but of course Jennifer was in love with Will, otherwise she wouldn't have said yes to him when he proposed.

Feeling nervous, she glanced at her watch again, and then noticed one of the teammates, Morgan, disappearing into the house.

A few minutes later he'd reappeared, and she watched as he spoke in low tones to Agent Rossi, and then headed over to her.

"Mrs. Jareau?"

She could hear the tentative tone in his voice, and she immediately knew that something was wrong. Then she saw that he had a slip of paper in his hand…and it had her daughter's handwriting on it. Had her daughter walked out on her very own wedding?

"Agent Morgan, where's Jennifer…?"

His face fell slightly and he placed a steadying hand on her shoulder as he said, "Here…this is for you."

He handed her the piece of paper and, with shaking hands, she took it and started to read it, and could barely believe what she read, a look of shock forming on her features.

"_Mom,_

_I know that this is going to be hard for you to hear, but I can't marry Will. He's a wonderful man, and I know that he loves Henry and he loves me, but I can't love him in the same way. I love you, Mom, and I want you to know that, because I know that this is not how you expected the day of your daughter's wedding to turn out. Hotch is giving me some time to help me sort out my feelings, so, _please_, don't put any blame on him. He's a close friend and I trust his judgment more than anyone else's…_

At reading this, she was able to read into her daughter's phrasing. Close friend, yes, but only a close friend and unable to ever be anything else? No. There was something there.

She finished reading the letter.

…_I think I need to find out what I want. Not just for me, but for Henry as well. I love you, and hope you understand. Love, Jennifer."_

Mrs. Jareau took a shaky breath and noticed her hands were trembling slightly, causing the paper in her hands to shake.

She tightened her fingers, briefly, and then carefully folded the note and slid it into her purse. She then realized that Agent Morgan was still standing next to her and she quickly reached up and used her thumb to brush away the single tear that had managed to escape.

She then looked at Agent Morgan and gave him a small smile.

"I'm okay."

He gave her a concerned look, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Are you sure, Mrs. Jareau?"

She nodded and used her hand to adjust her purse on her shoulder, her mind quickly putting things in order and rearranging them as they needed to. If her daughter needed this time to sort things out, then she wasn't going to hold it against her.

She looked over at Agent Morgan again and gave him a half smile.

"She needs to take some time…and I can understand it." She then nodded her head slightly and then let out a soft sigh. "She's a Jareau."

And with that, she found herself with some peace. Though still worried about Jennifer, she was much more reassured in the fact that her daughter was going to be okay. She was a strong young woman and she knew how to take care of herself.

And, hopefully, she would see what was right in front of her.

Though Mrs. Jareau thought that Will would be good for her, she knew that her daughter had a soft spot for the unit chief, something that she'd mistaken for fatherly affection, but now, after seeing what had happened, she found that her perspective had changed.

For the better.

* * *

**Part 7/?**


End file.
